Every family has “that one kid.”

Maybe they never call. Maybe they’ve borrowed money they never paid back. Maybe they’re wildly successful. Or maybe they packed up and moved to a yurt in Costa Rica and haven’t been seen since Thanksgiving 2014.

Whatever your family dynamic looks like—you’re not alone.

As an estate planning attorney, I’ve seen every version of the family tree: the close-knit, the chaotic, the complicated. And I can tell you this:

The more unique your family is, the more important it is to plan carefully.

Because when your plan doesn’t reflect the reality of your relationships, you risk leaving behind confusion, resentment… or a courtroom full of lawyers.

“Fair” Doesn’t Always Mean “Equal”

One of the hardest conversations I have with clients is this:

“I love all my kids, but I don’t want to leave them all the same amount.”

And I always say: That’s okay.

You’re allowed to divide your estate however you see fit. You may want to:

  • Leave more to the child who’s taken care of you in your later years,
  • Leave less to someone who’s financially secure,
  • Set limits for someone who struggles with addiction or money management,
  • Or include (or exclude) certain people altogether.

But here’s the key: If you’re going to do something unequal, you need to do it intentionally, clearly, and legally.

That’s how you avoid challenges and protect the legacy you’re trying to create.

What If You Want to Disinherit Someone?

Disinheriting a child—or any relative—can be emotionally difficult. But sometimes it’s the right decision.

Maybe you’ve become estranged. Maybe they’ve made harmful choices. Or maybe, for reasons you don’t owe anyone, you’ve decided they shouldn’t receive part of your estate.

Here’s the mistake people often make: They just leave the person out of the Will and hope for the best.

That almost guarantees a fight.

Instead, we recommend specifically stating your intent. In many cases, we’ll include language like:

“I have intentionally and with full knowledge chosen to make no provision for my son, John.”

That doesn’t invite debate. It ends it.

For the Child Who Can’t Manage Money

Maybe it’s not about love or estrangement. Maybe you simply have a child or grandchild who struggles to manage money—or who’s vulnerable to outside influence.

The solution isn’t to cut them out.

The solution is to put guardrails in place.

We can help you set up a Trust that allows that child to benefit from your estate without blowing it all in six months. You can name a trusted person (or even a professional) to manage the money and make distributions for things like housing, education, or healthcare.

This protects the inheritance and the person, so you don’t have to choose between them.

What About the One Who Lives Abroad?

Having a child who lives in another country creates additional planning challenges, especially if they’re not a U.S. citizen or don’t plan to return.

There may be:

  • Tax issues with transferring assets internationally,
  • Difficulties accessing U.S.-based accounts or Trusts,
  • Or logistical problems with managing an inheritance from afar.

We can help you plan for that too, so your international child doesn’t get left behind (or hit with surprise tax bills).

The Danger of Letting Them “Figure It Out”

Some people avoid these decisions altogether and just leave everything to their kids equally, hoping they’ll sort it out.

That rarely works the way you think it will.

If one child gets stuck doing all the work, bitterness builds. If assets are left to be divided “as they see fit,” they may not agree—and once attorneys get involved, it’s your estate that pays the price.

A good Estate Plan doesn’t just protect your money. It protects your relationships. It gives your children clarity, prevents arguments, and ensures that your wishes—not their assumptions—are honored.

Let’s Talk About Your Family—Exactly As They Are

You don’t need a picture-perfect family to have a strong Estate Plan. You just need a plan that reflects your reality.

At Bascom Law, we’ve helped all kinds of families protect what matters—whether that means equal shares, controlled Trusts, or cutting someone out entirely.

We don’t judge. We listen. We plan. And we help you leave behind peace, not problems.

Sincerely and Thanks,

Mike

Mike Bascom
Bascom Law, PC
770-285-5493