There’s a quiet fear many adult children carry, whether they talk about it or not. It sounds like this: “What’s going to happen when Mom or Dad is gone… and I don’t know what to do?”

If that thought has ever crossed your mind, you’re not alone. And if you’re a parent reading this, there’s something important you need to hear: your children are hoping you’ve already handled things—but they’re afraid to ask.

This blog is for both of you.

Why So Many Families Stay Silent

Most adult children don’t want to come across as greedy, controlling, or intrusive. They’re afraid that asking about a Will or Power of Attorney will sound like they’re rushing things.

On the other side, most parents don’t want to burden their kids. They say things like, “We’ve taken care of everything” or “You don’t need to worry about that right now.” But what they mean is: “We don’t want to talk about this either.”

So everyone stays silent. Until someone is in the hospital. Until someone passes. Until it’s too late to ask. And then the silence becomes a scramble.

“I Just Need to Know What They Wanted…”

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sat with families where the grief wasn’t the hardest part—it was the not knowing.

  • Do they want to be buried or cremated?
  • Who’s the executor?
  • Is there a Trust?
  • Where’s the paperwork?
  • What accounts need to be handled?

Sometimes, the legal documents are in place—but no one knows where they are. Other times, there’s no Estate Plan at all. Just vague conversations, half-formed assumptions, and a stack of legal, financial, and emotional landmines.

The family is left making educated guesses—about money, about healthcare, about legacy. And even when they mean well, those guesses can cause irreparable harm. Arguments. Resentment. Regret.

All of it, avoidable.

A Plan Isn’t Just Legal. It’s Personal.

At Bascom Law, we’ve helped hundreds of families build legally sound, fully customized Estate Plans. But the real success stories aren’t just about avoiding probate or minimizing taxes.

The real success stories sound like this:

  • “I didn’t have to second-guess anything.”
  • “We had everything we needed, right when we needed it.”
  • “The plan answered questions before we even thought to ask them.”
  • “All I had to do was be there for my dad.”

That’s what this is really about. Giving the people you love the clarity and confidence they’ll need when you’re not there to guide them.

Because a good Estate Plan doesn’t just protect your estate—it protects your family’s ability to grieve without guilt, to act without confusion, and to remember you without the weight of chaos.

How to Start the Conversation (Without Making It Awkward)

If you’re the adult child, you don’t have to bring it up like a legal intervention. Try something like:

“Mom, I know these conversations aren’t easy. But I want to make sure I do things the way you’d want when the time comes. Can we talk about your plan?”

“Dad, I’ve seen what happens to families who don’t talk about this. I don’t want that for us. Can we go over what I’d need to know if something ever happened?”

If you’re the parent, you don’t need to have every detail figured out before talking to your kids. You just need to let them in. Try:

“I’ve been meaning to get our plan updated, and I want to make sure you’re part of that process.”

“We’ve put some things in place, but I’d feel better knowing you understand the plan—and that it will work the way we want it to.”

Even five minutes of transparency can save your family weeks of confusion and heartache later.

What Happens When You Plan Ahead

When you build a proper Estate Plan, you’re not just creating documents—you’re creating outcomes:

  • Your wishes are known.
  • Your assets are protected.
  • Your loved ones are equipped.
  • Your voice still carries weight, even when you’re not there to speak.

And perhaps most important?

Your family doesn’t have to guess. They don’t have to wonder if they’re doing it “right.” They’ll know. Because you showed them. You told them. And you put your love into writing.

Ready to Have the Conversation—and the Plan to Match?

Whether you’re a parent wanting to give your family peace of mind… or an adult child ready to protect your parents from the chaos that silence can bring… now is the time to talk. And we can help make that conversation easier.

Call Bascom Law today. We’ll help you create a plan that protects your family from uncertainty, confusion, and crisis—so that when the time comes, they’ll have everything they need.

Because when love is paired with preparation, families don’t just survive loss—they stay strong through it.

Sincerely and Thanks,

Mike

Mike Bascom
Bascom Law, PC
770-285-5493