Dear Friend,

There’s something I’ve seen more times than I wish I had. A husband. A wife. An adult child. Sitting across from me with red eyes, a heavy heart, and a stack of unanswered questions. They’re grieving. They’re overwhelmed. And they’re trying to stay strong because everyone else is leaning on them.

Sometimes, they say it out loud. Other times, it’s just written on their face: “I don’t know what to do. I wasn’t told anything.”

Let me share a story, a personal accounting that will show you what that feels like—because if you’ve never been through it, you can’t imagine the weight.

Dan’s Story:

Dan: They always said everything was taken care of. That’s what I believed. That’s what they told me.

“Don’t worry, it’s all handled.” But when the time came… it wasn’t. Because when the time came, they were gone. And I was left standing in the middle of our life together—heartbroken, overwhelmed, and completely lost.

I Didn’t Know Where Anything Was.

No one ever tells you how much life lives in the little things.

Passwords.
Bank accounts.
Insurance policies.
Utility bills.
Garage codes.
Investment accounts we only talked about once—or maybe never.

I checked drawers. I checked folders. I searched emails and scrolled through texts. I tried to act calm when people asked me questions I didn’t know how to answer. I felt like I was failing them, even though they were the ones who never told me what I needed to know.

I Wasn’t Just Grieving—I Was Guessing.

The hardest part wasn’t the money. It wasn’t even the paperwork. It was the not knowing.

I didn’t know if they wanted a cremation or a burial. I didn’t know which family heirlooms were meant for whom. I didn’t know who they trusted to handle things—or who they didn’t.

Every decision I made felt like a test I hadn’t studied for. Every delay made me feel like I was letting them down. Every disagreement with family made me feel like I was fighting a battle they should’ve resolved while they were still here.

And through it all, I kept asking myself the same question: Why didn’t they just tell me?

Secrecy Isn’t Strength

Some people think they’re protecting their family by keeping everything “buttoned up.” They don’t want to burden anyone. They don’t want to talk about money or death or difficult decisions. They think silence is safer. Stronger.

But when you don’t talk about your plan…
When you don’t write it down…
When you don’t explain what matters and why…

You’re not protecting them. You’re abandoning them. Because if they don’t know, they can’t help you. And when you’re gone, they can’t ask.

Transparency Is Love

The kindest thing you can do for the people you love isn’t to take care of everything quietly, behind closed doors.

It’s to create a clear plan. To talk to them about it. To give them the confidence that when the time comes, they’ll know exactly what to do—and exactly what you wanted.

At Bascom Law, that’s what we help families do every single day. We don’t just put papers in a folder. We create peace of mind. We help you shine a light before the darkness ever comes. Because no one should have to mourn someone they love while also trying to unravel their life.

You don’t have to have all the answers today. You just have to be willing to start the conversation.

Call Bascom Law today. We’ll walk through your goals, your concerns, and your plan—so the people you love most never have to guess, scramble, or second-guess when you’re no longer here to guide them.

Because true strength isn’t secrecy. It’s sharing what matters—while you still can.

Sincerely and Thanks,

Mike

Mike Bascom
Bascom Law, PC
770-285-5493